Naff is a British term for «lacking in style or taste». So who’d even admit to listening to so-called naff music? Alex Rigotti, apparently! For this 5 Video Clips From column, they’ve selected five of the naffest music videos that have come from the U.K., in order to see what values and aesthetics lie in the kernel of the nation.
When I first moved to the U.K. at 13 years of age, I was eager to delve into its incredibly rich musical history. I would become a person of culture, someone who could hold long intellectual conversations about important bands like The Beatles, Pink Floyd, Kate Bush. But instead, I found myself connecting with my classmates about a much different canon of music: Ed Sheeran, Olly Murs, Tinie Tempah. Welcome to the world of «naff» music.
«Naff» is a very British term, and it’s important to distinguish it from something like cheesy music, which might be considered a guilty pleasure. There is no pleasure and all guilt in admitting you listen to someone «naff». It’s the kind of music you’ll find on MTV, in shopping malls – the brow is so low it’s obscuring the eyes.
Very rarely do music journalists look into the «naff» as a site for musical exploration. Only good music is worth examining, it might be said. But exploring the «naff» is important for several reasons. The «naff» reveals the primal instincts of a nation in its shameless marketing techniques, designed to create maximum impact in the shortest time possible.
There is no one sound or aesthetic to «naff» music; rather, they function as time capsules to understanding the desires of the public at that particular point in time. They can only be identified through their philosophy of endearing crookedness; they often strive to follow trends, and fall short.
Ultimately, they’re also wonderful shortcuts to creating friendships and conversations. The U.K. will always have their own canonical artists, but discussing these musicians was the way I truly got to know British culture and making friends along the way.
Music: Mr Blobby
Track: Mr Blobby (U.K., 1993)
The voice is nauseating, and the song goes on for entirely too long, but «Mr Blobby» is an interesting case study in what genres were en vogue at the time. The song cartwheels from a tame breakbeat chorus to a whirling Irish jig. The breakbeats draw from rave culture that was beginning to peak in Britain at the time (probably to appeal to the young’ins).
The video is also helpful as it references several videos, providing a nice snapshot into the musical diet of 1990s Britain. From Snap’s eurodance hit «Rhythm Is a Dancer» to Genesis’ «I Can’t Dance», Mr Blobby surely proved these videos were popular enough to warrant parodying, as much as they didn’t save the song.
Music: 5ive + Queen
Video: Tim Royes
Track: We Will Rock You (U.K., 2000)
Plenty of older music nerds discovered Queen listening to snippets of «Bohemian Rhapsody» on the radio; I discovered Queen through a cover by British boyband, 5ive. Because what’s more naff than an overcompressed, over-produced cover of a British classic?
Before there was One Direction, there was 5ive, a manufactured boyband who were also signed by Simon Cowell. Though Freddie had since passed, guitarist Brian May and drummer Roger Taylor rerecorded the original with 5ive.
The most surprising thing about this is how the band took inspiration from nu-metal in order to create edge. Mercury’s voice is replaced with rapped verses with an American nasality, and the opening record scratches and ad-libs signal the burgeoning incorporation of hip hop into the mainstream.
Artist: James Blunt
Video: Sam Brown
Track: You’re Beautiful (U.K., 2005)
If there’s one thing Brits like, it’s a lanky, hypersensitive troubadour. James Blunt ticked off all the boxes by cooing his way out of the laddish hellscape that was 1990s Britpop and into the hearts of mums across the country.
Everything from the falsetto vocal stylings to the soft rock instrumentation ensured it was a hit with the general public. Of course, they overplayed it to death on the radio, but the nostalgia and sentiment will remain for many.
Music: Tinchy Stryder feat. N Dubz
Video: Emil Nava
Track: Number 1 (U.K., 2009)
If Wiley is considered the Godfather of Grime, Tinchy is his younger brother who’s just working things out. Stryder graduated from pirate radio into the influential Roll Deep crew that would boast members such as Skepta, JME, and Dizzee Rascal.
You can hear the distinctive grime flow being sung by Tinchy, but sonically, «Number 1» doesn’t derive its instrumentals from typical garage, 2-step instrumentals. Instead, it’s paired with a club beat that might have helped broaden its appeal outside of the grime community. Well, it worked – it became the first song entitled «Number 1» to go Number 1.
Artist: Cher Lloyd
Video: Mike Sharpe & Marcus Mores
Track: Swagger Jagger (U.K., 2011)
If you want a good place to find naff music, try the X Factor. Cher Lloyd didn’t win her season, but she ended up signing a record deal and releasing «Swagger Jagger» as her debut single.
There’s so many relics of the 2010s embedded in this video – from the big ombre curls, the Memphis design flourishes, the brash synths and breakdown foreshadowing the rise of EDM, you truly had to be there to see it.
